I have it on good authority – i.e., dozens of literary agents’ blogs and self help books – that if I am to successfully pitch my book/memoir to the intimidating, ambition-withering and soul-crushing publishing industry, I will need the following:
How fun this is, and no doubt stressful to cull the very idea of your memoir down into pitch-worthy essence. Tall order indeed. I do believe you are asking for feedback and I often find that my first response is the one called for, not a response I think about or craft with diplomacy.
Logline: I loved Maid, Strayed and Nora Ephron at some point in the last three decades, and experienced them each about a decade apart. My concern is wide relevancy to your target audience and the logline doesn't land well if the content is not easily recognized (& mentally characterized) on first read. I didn't recall the title of Maid until you defined it. Cheryl Strayed had the benefit of a name that worked amazingly well as a title of her life experience and also, a verb. And Nora Ephron might be more famous for feeling badly about her neck, Heartburn or being married to Carl Bernstein than the When Harry Met Sally line. My point is these are three "stretches" when it comes to instant recall about them. Moreover, using the walking into the bar scenario with a TV show title, a book title and a person's name is another stretch that, let's face it, strains the joke. ALL that being said, I would read this book because I have a frame of reference for all of the above but my concern is that I'm in your niche market, not the broader audience I would want your book to reach.
For the elevator pitch - I was taken aback by "inadvertently" in juxtaposition with a 30-yr career. Maybe you mean unintentionally? I'm not nickpicking, I just felt my trust betrayed by those two thoughts in one sentence. "Borderline impoverished" also made me a little suspicious that I was going to get the real vulnerable truth, or just another "she got lucky" story. I love the next paragraph but I'm not sure you need "got her back on her feet" after you just said films saved you - the salvation idea is much more powerful. I wonder if you could use "hiking involved" a little more cleverly, as in was it the hiking or the films that saved you? Or something stronger than merely "involved." I like the teaser hiking ending, just want to give it a bit more punch.
Goodness I hope this is helpful. Feel free to delete this comment if not. I woke up today wearing my editor/critic hat and I have been tipping it all day!
Thanks for taking the time to think this through and respond to me, Diane.
You've made a lot of good points.
Know that the logline is intended for the cognoscenti, writing & publishing industry insiders, not the general public. So I think they will understand the multi-decade references. Ephron is remembered most inside the industry for giving birth to the romcom genre with three of her films, especially "When Harry Met Sally." But perhaps I should place them in a café instead of a bar? That's a good point. I'll rework that.
As to your comment about the word 'inadvertently' vs 'unintentionally' – I had to look up exactly how each is used and I found they both mean something like 'doing something without meaning to.' Both describe everything that happened to me along the way, the end result of which was a 30 year career. But it wasn't planned at all, and certainly not from the beginning.
As to 'borderline impoverished,' there was a time when, technically, I qualified for food stamps. What followed was not 'getting lucky,' but looking around and working with whatever I could and trying to piece it together into something sustaining.
Hiking is a reference to 'Wild;' hiking was involved but not the central theme as it was in her book, and one will have read the book to see the connection. I only have one short elevator ride, so this is definitely in the teaser category, rather than offered as a full book blurb ☺️
Hi Kristin and thank you for your post. I would re-write the logline as follows: "The story of one woman creating a 30-year career in film with a $20 investment."
It is my experience the "cognoscenti" (splendid word!) want to be punched, not massaged
I'll pre-order it and make my book club take it up as our book of the month as soon as we have it in our hot little hands! The log line is epic and needs no explanation.
I love your elevator pitch. Makes me want to learn more. Although I wonder about hiking since you don't connect it with the rest. Your logline is clever and I got it right away but I agree with Diane Curry that it might not land with a lot of people. It might be simpler to just say, "It's Maid but in the world of film." Educated might also be a possibility. Clarity is the most important thing in a logline because it's shorthand for the concept and you don't want anyone puzzling it out. Example: For the Alien, the pitch was Jaws on a spaceship. It's funny that you talk about Cheryl because I mention her as well this week.
Hi Karin, thanks for reading and taking the time to share your thoughts!
The hiking is a reference to Cheryl Strayed & WILD and something I often did myself after I moved to Asheville, which in a weird way, brought more films my way.
Re the logline, it's really just for agents and publishers, so my hope is they'll get it.
I can't really just say that it's just Maid, because prior to all this happening, I was a college-educated professional with a wonderful career in design. (Things fell apart for me financially after I got married and lost that job.)
I will work on simplifying it, however! Thanks again for your suggestions!
Thanks for the invite. I’m unqualified to address your logline, I just lack the literary sophistication to draw those inferences as someone in the industry might.
I think your elevator pitch is a bit long and suggest leaving out this:
It’s a story of improbable and ironic film experiences, many of which changed the circumstances of her life
How fun this is, and no doubt stressful to cull the very idea of your memoir down into pitch-worthy essence. Tall order indeed. I do believe you are asking for feedback and I often find that my first response is the one called for, not a response I think about or craft with diplomacy.
Logline: I loved Maid, Strayed and Nora Ephron at some point in the last three decades, and experienced them each about a decade apart. My concern is wide relevancy to your target audience and the logline doesn't land well if the content is not easily recognized (& mentally characterized) on first read. I didn't recall the title of Maid until you defined it. Cheryl Strayed had the benefit of a name that worked amazingly well as a title of her life experience and also, a verb. And Nora Ephron might be more famous for feeling badly about her neck, Heartburn or being married to Carl Bernstein than the When Harry Met Sally line. My point is these are three "stretches" when it comes to instant recall about them. Moreover, using the walking into the bar scenario with a TV show title, a book title and a person's name is another stretch that, let's face it, strains the joke. ALL that being said, I would read this book because I have a frame of reference for all of the above but my concern is that I'm in your niche market, not the broader audience I would want your book to reach.
For the elevator pitch - I was taken aback by "inadvertently" in juxtaposition with a 30-yr career. Maybe you mean unintentionally? I'm not nickpicking, I just felt my trust betrayed by those two thoughts in one sentence. "Borderline impoverished" also made me a little suspicious that I was going to get the real vulnerable truth, or just another "she got lucky" story. I love the next paragraph but I'm not sure you need "got her back on her feet" after you just said films saved you - the salvation idea is much more powerful. I wonder if you could use "hiking involved" a little more cleverly, as in was it the hiking or the films that saved you? Or something stronger than merely "involved." I like the teaser hiking ending, just want to give it a bit more punch.
Goodness I hope this is helpful. Feel free to delete this comment if not. I woke up today wearing my editor/critic hat and I have been tipping it all day!
Nuanced and thoughtful
Thanks for taking the time to think this through and respond to me, Diane.
You've made a lot of good points.
Know that the logline is intended for the cognoscenti, writing & publishing industry insiders, not the general public. So I think they will understand the multi-decade references. Ephron is remembered most inside the industry for giving birth to the romcom genre with three of her films, especially "When Harry Met Sally." But perhaps I should place them in a café instead of a bar? That's a good point. I'll rework that.
As to your comment about the word 'inadvertently' vs 'unintentionally' – I had to look up exactly how each is used and I found they both mean something like 'doing something without meaning to.' Both describe everything that happened to me along the way, the end result of which was a 30 year career. But it wasn't planned at all, and certainly not from the beginning.
As to 'borderline impoverished,' there was a time when, technically, I qualified for food stamps. What followed was not 'getting lucky,' but looking around and working with whatever I could and trying to piece it together into something sustaining.
Hiking is a reference to 'Wild;' hiking was involved but not the central theme as it was in her book, and one will have read the book to see the connection. I only have one short elevator ride, so this is definitely in the teaser category, rather than offered as a full book blurb ☺️
Thanks again for your thoughts!
Hi Kristin and thank you for your post. I would re-write the logline as follows: "The story of one woman creating a 30-year career in film with a $20 investment."
It is my experience the "cognoscenti" (splendid word!) want to be punched, not massaged
: )
p.s. I also love the word 'cognoscenti' ~ any excuse to sprinkle a little Italian into the conversation 🥰
Hello Richard, and thanks very much for your response!
Interestingly, you and my son have the exact same thought.
Perhaps I should listen to you both 😁
I'll pre-order it and make my book club take it up as our book of the month as soon as we have it in our hot little hands! The log line is epic and needs no explanation.
❤️❤️❤️
I would so read this.
Thanks Lindsey! I hope you feel the same way now that we're up to Story Frame #11!
Loved 11.
#11 is on my list for tomorrow.
I love your elevator pitch. Makes me want to learn more. Although I wonder about hiking since you don't connect it with the rest. Your logline is clever and I got it right away but I agree with Diane Curry that it might not land with a lot of people. It might be simpler to just say, "It's Maid but in the world of film." Educated might also be a possibility. Clarity is the most important thing in a logline because it's shorthand for the concept and you don't want anyone puzzling it out. Example: For the Alien, the pitch was Jaws on a spaceship. It's funny that you talk about Cheryl because I mention her as well this week.
Hi Karin, thanks for reading and taking the time to share your thoughts!
The hiking is a reference to Cheryl Strayed & WILD and something I often did myself after I moved to Asheville, which in a weird way, brought more films my way.
Re the logline, it's really just for agents and publishers, so my hope is they'll get it.
I can't really just say that it's just Maid, because prior to all this happening, I was a college-educated professional with a wonderful career in design. (Things fell apart for me financially after I got married and lost that job.)
I will work on simplifying it, however! Thanks again for your suggestions!
Thanks for the invite. I’m unqualified to address your logline, I just lack the literary sophistication to draw those inferences as someone in the industry might.
I think your elevator pitch is a bit long and suggest leaving out this:
It’s a story of improbable and ironic film experiences, many of which changed the circumstances of her life
Break a leg
Thanks for your thoughts, Dante ~
Yes:) And I, too, thought “inadvertently” was a better choice, but I don’t know why.
Yes! Yes! Yes! (To quote another Meg Ryan line from the same movie -hehe)
Thanks Leslie 😂