Story Frame 3 – Sophia Loren’s Bed Sheets

Over the coming months, I learned a lot from Dave Gallagher. A veteran of KQED, the powerhouse PBS station in San Francisco, he was a burly human treasure chest of ideas for how to creatively acquire sponsorship money for public television shows. He made it fun and interesting, as well as intellectually challenging. An adventure each time.

“Let me show you how to approach this,” he said to me on my first day of work. “Suppose I came to you with a special about hunting? Where would you go for funding?”

Busy inside my head fending off images of rifles, bows and arrows, blood, and dead animals, I didn’t reply.

“You might think a gun manufacturer,” he continued, not waiting to hear my thoughts. “But anyone could think of that. Instead, think about the tangential aspects of that hobby. For example, what about a freezer manufacturer? Hunters need to store their meat somewhere, right?!”

Taken by surprise, I stopped thinking about the animals and began opening up my mind a little.

“Here’s another example,” Gallagher went on. “When I was at KQED, somebody there knew somebody who worked at a luxury hotel in San Francisco where Sophia Loren had just spent a few nights. We were able to get the set of bed linens she’d slept in!”

My thoughts veered abruptly from bloody animal carcasses in the woods to rumpled, post-shagging sheets. And do what with them? I wondered, not sure I wanted to know.

“Now, we could have sold the sheets off during our on-air auction,” Gallagher rattled on, ignoring the expression on my face. Clearly in his element, he was thoroughly enjoying this teachable moment. “But that would have resulted in only one donation.”

“So instead…” and here he paused for effect, leaning towards me, “we dyed the sheets burgundy. Then we sent them to a seamstress who cut them into dozens of small pieces and stitched the edges. And then we auctioned them all off to viewers!

“Men loved having a pocket square that some part of Sophia Loren’s skin may have brushed up against,” he recalled, leaning back in his office chair, arms raised behind him, cradling his head. He grinned happily at the memory. “They made a bundle for us!”

I had to admit, I was impressed. An hour later, I left with a list of programs he wanted funding for.

I was unable to duplicate the celebrity sheets stunt, but using the Gallagher thought process over the following weeks, I lined up the largest regional plumbing business to underwrite a season of This Old House and found an out-of-state supplier of vintage car parts to sponsor a 13-part series on restoring Mustangs. Project by project, I eventually found a funder for just about everything he gave me. Thousands of dollars, altogether. The big guy was delighted.

At the end of February, Gallagher called me back into his office for a special meeting.

“I have a new assignment for you,” he said, skipping pleasantries. “The station’s annual on-air auction is in April.”

I waited, uncertain how this news pertained to me.

“We need donations,” he said. “And I need you to get some for us. Unusual ones, big ticket ones!”

He extracted a magazine from the piles of clutter on his desk – a recent issue of Washingtonian. Puzzled, I watched as he flipped to the back, to the “Great Escapes” section – three columns of small advertisements on each page – and began reading out loud.

“Adventures Aloft, hot air ballooning flights over Maryland countryside … a farmstead B&B in Rappahannock County … a spectacular cottage with a fireplace at the beach in Chincoteague… a rustic lodge near Blackwater Wildlife Refuge … Harley Davidson motorcycle rides … a secret mountain hideaway walking distance to the Appalachian Trail,” he intoned, running a sturdy finger down the listings as he spoke.

“All these are possible! And, in return for their donations, tell them they’ll get on-air publicity!” Gallagher spoke with confidence and enthusiasm. It all made perfect sense to him. He continued scanning the small advertisements.

“Aha! Here’s a good one!” he said, his trademark grin lighting up his face as he took his eyes off the magazine just long enough to see if I was paying attention – a grin I already knew to be just a little wary of. He picked up a red pen, then handed me the magazine so I could read for myself what he had just drawn a big circle around with three exclamation points.

“Let’s see if you can get this one!” he said to me, laughing.

For those seeking the ultimate island experience, rent your own deserted island in Bermuda, enjoying complete privacy while surrounding yourself with our crystal-clear waters.                  We’ll take you out there by boat and come back for you a week later. Enjoy fishing, our collection of books & games, our well-stocked kitchen, and scavenger hunt maps we’ve created to lead you around the island, looking for buried treasure – all in complete privacy!

What neither of us realized at the time was that the island owners were nudists.

Okay, Gallagher, I thought as I left the station a short while later with his magazine under my arm. Game on.

What to read next: Story Frame 4 – The Feisty Irishman & A Stranger’s Shoes

[photo credit: Martina Giammaria]